I am not the strong one

Don’t see that way, behind
every smile there has been piles
and pile of tears pouring from
my eyes

I have to fight these disease
inside me otherwise I might
as well turn around and die
but that does not mean I am
strong

I don’t have shake but my body
gets stiff and hard to move. I had the
Brain surgery to improve but don’t
think all is sorted and well afterwards

I have battled with the tears, I have battled
depression, I have had to learn to walk again
Life was not always hunky dooy and well

I am not strong, I have really struggled
to get till this year, the future is too far to
plan , as come tomorrow is far enough.
Just need to get what is in store for now